Donald Trump attracts attention everywhere he goes, and everywhere he isn’t. The billionaire blowhard is trundling toward his party’s presidential nomination and everybody’s pet hamster has an opinion about this.
Take, for example, the embattled NDP Leader Tom Mulcair. Canada’s answer to the question of whether you can be cool wearing only brown ties—no, it turns out—Mulcair has found himself in a bit of a pickle. He and his party decided to fight the last federal election by Stephen Harper’s rules, while some guy named Trudeau decided people were less concerned about deficits than maybe we’d all pretended to be.
Whoops. Anyhow, Captain Tom and the Dippers found themselves cut down to a third-place rump. (Which is still the party’s second-best-ever showing, but no matter.) Now some of the more traditional Dippers are out for blood. Mulcair faces a leadership review vote this week and if enough NDP party partisans want his generalship reviewed, he’s basically toast. What percentage “enough” might constitute of the party is an open question, but you’ll know it when you see it.
So, naturally, now is the perfect time to gin up support among those progressive types by calling out the Trumpster Fire for being a big bad meanie. Which is why it’s not a huge surprise NDP staffers were passing a video around of Mulcair giving a speech and taking questions from party faithful to various news outlets. In the party-edited video, Mulcair calls the America’s foremost windbag a proper fascist.
“Donald Trump is a fascist. Let’s not beat around the bush,” Mulcair says in the video, filmed at some kind of campaign-style town hall. He’s playing a sort of bizarro version to the right-wing, “call ISIS islamic extremism” fetish game. Mulcair then takes a chippy shot at Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for not having the same intestinal fortitude to call Trumpenstein’s monster* a fascist. But, Americans are for some reason cranky about Her Majesty’s representatives sticking their nose in U.S. affairs, so maybe it’s best if Trudeau continues to dance around that one.
(See also why Finance Minister Bill Morneau wouldn’t even think of playing footsie with a straight answer on the British referendum to stay in the European Union. Do not touch the red button, minister.)
It’s not just our politicians taking on the Trump question. Everyone has to take their shot:
• A Canadian businessman was an owner of a team in the now-defunct United States Football League alongside Trump in the 1980s. One time he wrote him a really, really mean letter! Even promised to punch him in the mouth! But, he was polite about it—how Canadian!—by signing off “kindest personal regards,” according to a Toronto Star report.
• In Vancouver, a man climbed to the top of that city’s soon-to-open Trump Tower to fly a Mexican flag. That’ll show Trump what a bad idea his border wall with Mexico is.
• A Cape Breton professor is a very distant cousin to Trump. So much for the island’s embrace of its status as a island oasis for ex-pat anti-Trumpers.
• One Canadian tech firm—and therefore “Canada”—is buying Twitter ads trying to woo Trump-hating Canadians back from Silicon Valley. Sure. Yeah.
Donald Trump, Making Canada Wank Around Again!
And now, some submissions:
• In 1962 the dastardly Soviets tried to put nuclear missiles on the island of Cuba—which you may have heard is only 90 miles from Florida—and the civilization came very, very close to evaporating in a fit of radioactive annihilation. Thankfully, John Diefenbaker was our prime minister and he could suggest a line change to John F. Kennedy’s famous presidential address. (C/o @romeoinottawa)
• In the New York Times—squee!—an analysis that Rob Ford’s mayoralty was a sign Toronto was built on a stable political foundation. It’s an interesting look at how cities like Toronto avoided the white flight and subsequent urban decay found in, say, Detroit by keeping the suburbs in the municipal fold. Which, I mean, maybe? Hog Town avoided absolute destruction, sure, but the piece does tend to ignore what an unwieldy mess Toronto actually is.
• A “world famous” man bun model says Canada owns the hairstyle. So noted.
* Editor’s note: Or is it just Trumpenstein?